Hot blonde shooter

Well as you can read in my previous email I have received a nice invitation to join the local center manager, the hot blonde and my manager via phonecall in the council meeting room to discuss about a matter very important for my future. No joke, this is how they called it in the sentence email.

So finally the fateful day and hour came and I entered the council room. Without any surprise I saw the hot blonde grinning next to the fancy HR diva so my mind flew to a three-some again.

- Come in, come in resource! said the hot blonde manager with a sweet voice to disquise her joy, take a seat, we have your manager on the line.

I took a sit with the calm of the prosecuted villain sitting on the electrical chair. Immediately the manager started a long, pitiful, sorry monologue about how bad the Corporation is doing, how tough are the market conditions and how sorry they are they need to let go valuable resources including myself. To show their appreciation however they would throw in some small compensation to help the victim manage the transition to the next job.

But there was a catch, the offer had to be accepted and signed that day otherwise I would be fired with no compensation. Hearing that I thought I heared the hot blonde moan with satisfaction and I couldn't help thinking if firing resources made her climax.

Not having an alternative and seeing the next resource victim ready to enter the room to be shoot I signed the paper and left. Back to my office I took a long look at the desk and rooms I have been working for close to ten years and phoned Dave:

- Hi, you have a call from the other world. The freshiest ghost arround would like to haunt you in the yard for a coffee.

Shot in the head resource

Well there comes a time in the work life of each resource where you get shot in the head. The Corporation launched wave after wave of so-called "workforce reduction programs"lining up thousands and thounsands of resources and shooting them with the firing squad of HR executioners asking them to resign on the spot.

It is said that when you are fired the entire professional life flashes before your eyes but I didn't feel that. Maybe I was prepared for a longtime for this moment. Like a small servant in the court of the ancient tyrant you cand expect that sword to go down on your neck at any time. All I could do is hope this gets delayed and prepare mentally.

The day before getting shot in the head I received a very strange email from my boss inviting me in a meeting with the local center manager, the hot blonde I told you about. Since my manager was located remotely I quickly threw away the thought of a three-some action in the council room so I was pretty sure I was facing the bullet. Time to say goodbye old champ!

I immediately called Dave and told him about this. His initial reaction was no way, how could this be? It shouldn't have been uncoincevaible for him as we both saw many good folks getting slaughtered year after year but now my name was on the list ...

- Listen Dave, it's clear as daylight. They had no reason to summon in the meeting with the hot blonde and my manager over the phone unless they have the gun ready and the bullet with my name on it.
- Maybe they'll promote you said Dave without being convinced.
- Yeah sure, promote me with a big kick in the rear to make the resource disappear.

To arrive shortly - Get rich, get free

Well folks now that I have more free time I have decided to write an ebook - "Get rich, get free"  based on my experience and financial education taken in the past years. I plan to sell it very cheap at first to see how it works so be on the lookout. :) Maybe I got what it takes to be the next great financial education besteller-writer or maybe I get to help some people to get their personal finances straight. Wish me luck! :)

The rotten apples

As most resources really struggle each day with the work volume, closely monitored to ensure there is no sclacking at the job there are some rotten apples who really enjoy their work as a resource. Mainly because these resources don't do anything all day. They do their best to avoid work and sadly some suceed.

Of course these rotten apples are carefully disguising their do-nothing routine, they appear always busy, always on the move so no one can really see what they are actually doing, always a bit annoyed as to show they are really as exhausted and overloaded as the usual resource is. They also tend to get involved in very visible projects but make sure they don't commit to doing any of the work, they just want to step up front and take as much credit as they can.

Every now and then a smarter supervisor or boss will notice the rotten apple and crop it back to work but it's never easy. These do-nothing rotten resources are always arguing, yelling, lying in the face that they're bringing precious value to the team and company.

Colleagues of such a rotten apple know best how hard is their life, browsing the net all day, checking fashion sites, planning their third holiday that year although it's just June. Because such resources have a single goal in life, to avoid work and spend everything they have partying. They are ocassionaly kicked in their asses by the bosses only to shake up and resume doing nothing. Even with their butts kicked on a regular basis is hard to make the rotten apple leave the job. They will hang to it as hard as they can threatining with legal action, shouting, making a mess. Until a brave or not-caring boss will finally throw them off the door with a big deserved foot up their asses.
                  

Don't forget to consume resource!

There was silence in the meeting room. Then the manager suddenly started to talk with a serious voice:
- The Corporation isn't doing that good folks, you should know. There are tough times, we don't sell enough, the market is contracting, the prices can't grow. Profit is smaller and smaller by the year. You know how that make us feel in front of our trusted and honorable shareholders?

It was a rhetorical question perhaps but anyway no one dared speak up so the manager continued:
- So we all must make sacrifices you know. No raises, no bonus, no nothing for the next year. Just tremendous work to help the Corporation grow and achieve the success it deserves. You know why the profit is so low? Why the sales so few?

Again a rhetorical question maybe, again no reply. The manager yelled the response:
- Because the frickin' resources don't buy that much anymore. That's the problem. This society is built to work your assess off, pay lousy salaries and you are expected to give us back those money by purchasing our goods at high prices. And be happy and proud of it. Proud you can afford it. Ashamed if you can't afford. Look at you neighbour Jones, he bought himself a new car. Yours is already three years old, you should be ashamed to look in his eyes. Buy a new car and face the music. You can't afford it? Go to the bank and get a frickin' loan.

The manager stopped and looked angrily in the crowd:
- Do you even understand this? No matter you are not getting more raises and bonuses, you simply don't frickin' spend enough! Now get to work resources!

Resource performance evaluation

- Come in, come in... take a seat! the boss said visibly bored.
I entered the room and sat on the chair accross his desk. He let me wait for a minute or so checking his emails annoyed and then said:
- So you know why you're here right? It's the end of the year and I need to evaluate your performace, what you brought for the Corporation during these twelve months and repay you according to your work. So Seb I have to say you were pretty ok, you did your work, not exceeding the targets though and you could show some more gratitude to the Corporation...

I had nothing to say, I barely coped with the volume of work he threw my way, when to take the time to volunteer for some projects and go the extra mile. And I was always so tired and demotivated but of course that was the normal condition for a resource in the Corporation.

- But our great leaders are kind and rewarding the boss said, just yesterday the Corporation Board, our more beloved collegues who take care of us and guide us towards success encouraged us to give a little to the working man, to the humble resource who makes everything work.

He paused again awaiting gratitude but I was as blank as a statue so visibly angry he continued.
- Altough I think they are far too kind when they need to put some more burden on the resources I will give you a 0.4% raise this year as well as a week salary as premium. Spend it wisely.

- Is that all? I asked really bored trying to put a fake cynical smile.
- No no, the boss said, I also want to wish you Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas resources, take a good rest while you can because the new year will be tougher!

Do the job resource!

That's how she put it, plain and forward. I stopped a moment to take a better picture of our new big boss of the local office. She was 35 maybe 40 at least, blonde, slim and quite attractive. The kind of woman who could use all her assets to quickly climb on the corporate ladder. She was the kind of boss who woked depending on one of the moods she was in that day: normal, bad and worse.

So I was there on the interim job dealing with tasks that were by no means in my job role until they got to hire a poor bastard to work him all day.

- Don't worry she said, I'll make sure you only get the critical tasks, I know you're temporary and still a bit busy with your job responsabilities.

By a bit busy she meant I was already doing overtime and working my butt off. And I suspected these limited very critical tasks would add up quickly. I expressed my concerns politey and saw the sexy blonde making a displeased figure, clearly she was there to pass the orders not to talk the through.
Very annoyed she finally said to contact her if I get overwhelmed and let me know the "audience" is over. The blonde princess shouldn't be disturbed any longer.

I left and met Dave for lunch, he was almost sleeping on the table. Another long tiring weekend with the kids, he barely slept a couple of hours. He saw me and asked if I had a couple of bucks until the paycheck. I gave him a few, I was pretty broke as well.

- Hurry up resource I said with a bitter smile while he starting eating, work is waiting!
- I know he said, I have been doing it for the past 10 years and I still have 30 years to do the job going forward...